Self-care is a critical part of living a balanced life.
Practicing self-care techniques will help you improve your overall well-being, which will in turn decrease your feelings of work or school burnout, stress, and anxiety [1].
Here’s how to develop a lifestyle focused on self-care that will support your happiness and build your resilience against life’s challenges.
Believe in your inherent, unshakeable worth
Your value as a human being has nothing to do with sexuality or your physical appearance, but I’ll use the word “beautiful” to describe your self-esteem, the beauty that’s much more than skin deep. Having higher self-esteem, especially if you can maintain it in all areas of your life, dramatically improves all areas of a person’s well-being [1].
Smiling makes you beautiful. Caring about others makes you beautiful. Working for a better future for the world makes you beautiful.
Any way you want to view it, you must believe you are beautiful so deeply that no one can ever take that conviction away from you. You are in charge of your own universe, so why would anyone else’s opinion matter?
Decorating suggestion: Buy a beautiful mirror to hang in your home. Look into the mirror with positive, loving thoughts for yourself, and hold those thoughts as long as you can before looking away.
Find fulfilling hobbies
You are more than your job/your family/your friends/your school/your romantic partner.
You should find or maintain at least two hobbies that will always be there for you, even if every person and situation in your life fails you.
Hobbies allow you to feel a sense of control over your life and help your self-esteem [2]. They have the added effect of making you more interesting to others, but first and foremost, they make life more interesting for you.
Explore social hobbies
Ideally, at least one of your hobbies would be social in nature, because research shows having strong, positive social bonds increases our well-being [3].
Hobbies also work well at naturally expanding your social circle, but don’t worry if the hobbies you want to focus on right now are solo activities. The priority of your self-care mindset should be what makes you the happiest. You can always explore ways to meet new people later.
Explore outdoor hobbies
Another of your hobbies would ideally bring you into contact with nature, because research shows that regular outdoor activities reduce stress and improve your physical and mental health [4]. You can combine social and outdoor hobbies through activities like recreational team sports, group runs or bike rides, and outdoor workout classes.
If you prefer solo outdoor hobbies, active activities can be as simple as walking, running, or biking, or trying new trails or paths in your city. Less exercise-focused outdoor hobbies include gardening, woodworking, and bird-watching.
Build a spiritual practice
You don’t need to join a religion to have a spiritual life. People who believe in something greater than themselves, even if that belief is just connecting with others (or children/animals/nature) for this brief moment in time we’re conscious on Planet Earth, live more fulfilled lives [4].
If you don’t already have a belief system, spend some time consciously deciding what you believe in and what gives your life meaning.
If you’re not looking to join an organized religion, then meditation, particularly mindfulness meditation, can play a helpful role in your spiritual journey. There are many books that can guide you through mindfulness and meditation (I like Mindfulness: An Eight-Week Plan for Finding Peace in a Frantic World), and thousands of YouTube videos.
Improve your mental health.
You don’t have to be suffering from a clinical diagnosis of a mental illness to benefit from improving your mental health.
Your mental health journey might involve individual or group therapy (online options have increased dramatically over the past few years, or in person). If you have health insurance, check to see if it covers mental health services. If you’re a student, you might have free counseling center access included as part of your tuition.
Support groups, which are usually free to attend, can also be helpful if you have a specific challenge you’re facing.
Many mental health self-improvement books, covering topics like overcoming depression, anxiety, or trauma, are also available.
Journaling in particular can be an effective form of self-administered therapy [5]. If you don’t want to write without guidance, you might want to try a guided journal specifically designed to help your mental health (like this one).
Practice regular self-care “dates”
Being a woman is both a physical and spiritual experience. Honor that experience and the fact that you have the good fortune to be alive.
Plan your self-care dates for at least once a week. Schedule them ahead of time and treat them as if they’re as important as any other appointment or meeting you wouldn’t skip.
Incorporate any or all of these elements into your dates:
- Scent – scented lotion, aromatherapy, perfume, incense
- Sound– progressive muscle relaxation [6], nature music, uplifting, religious, or spiritual music
- Movement – yoga, pilates, tai chi, stretching, self-massage
- Physicality – soft or silky clothes, hair brushing, body scrubs, blankets
- Environment – flowers, a clean room, plants, photos or art that you love
- Taste – wine, tea, coffee, chocolate, fruits
- Spirituality – affirmations, praying, listening to guided meditations or religious services
- Mental – reading, writing, drawing, crafting. No electronics of any kind.
These sessions would ideally take place after all your work/schoolwork/chores are done for the evening, and you can go directly to bed afterward.
Your next steps
Plan your next (which may also be your first) self-care date! Focus on being kind to yourself, and do at least one thing every day whose only purpose is to make yourself happy. You can’t make the world a better place or help others until you are in a stable, loving mental state, and only then you can expand your attention outward. You can’t do great things for yourself and others unless and until you love yourself.
